Tech Rave

Tonight, lets talk about tech. Here's what I want, and I really don't feel that this is too rediculous of a wish list: First, I want a hard drive for my head. Nothing crazy, just... oh, maybe 10 or 20 terabytes. "But Dick! A hard drive of that capacity would explode your head like that AWESOME movie "Scanners"!" Well, NUH-UH! BOOM! Yeah! How about them technological apples? Sure, it's only up to the 1 terabyte level, but how long will that last for? What's the curve? Processing power (and hard drive levels) double every six months? So, lets say I wait 2 years to get it, that's... carry the one... square root... interger... pascal... random science-y sounding words... that's 16 terabytes! (No, you can't see my work. This isn't freaking 7th grade, after all... God!) And when it's only the size of a postage stamp, you could def fit it under my skull somewhere, maybe just shove the brain stem around a bit. Besides it doesn't even need to be in the brain! There is plenty of room in the chest cavity for a small piece of electronics. Just look at pacemakers. Anyways, I'm going to need a massive amount of hard drive space for when I hook up my.... #2: Wi-Fi connection in my head! As the giant jug of juice would say... "OH YEAAAH!" Imagine, if you will, a semi-distant, not really dystopian-future, where at any time, on any day, a normal human being can, while at work, or at the beach, or even at the step-parents house attempting to "enjoy" an over-cooked meatloaf, delve into the super awesome world of the internet! LOL-cats as you go to church! Fail-blog as you sit on the, ahem, powder-room throne! The possibilities are endless and immensely awesome, sort of like Arnold Schwartzennager fighting Jean Claude over a vat of bat-wielding vipers while guitar solos and explosions rock the very air! It's... it's...! Monty Python's Flying Circus! By which I mean, of course, that it is the very definition of awesome!

Furthermore, imagine the possibilities of combining them! In the Matrix, you can download info-directly into your brain, and just know it! While that might be a bit far fetched, if you downloaded 10,000 hours of video of someone demonstrating theoritical physics, you would probably know it pretty damn well! Sure, you might have to digest the info for a week or two, but still! The absorbtion rate would still give you a huge advantage over anyone else. Or, you could waste this potential with stupid numa-numa videos, or star wars kid, or whatever. The effects on teaching and education in general would be both profound and nearly instantaneous. 

However, this would come with a possible (sort of?) downside: We could, if we adopted these techs as a race, become the borg. I know, I know. Awesomeness. "But Dick", some party-poopers whine, "What about free will and personalities and being your own person and wah wah wah bitch moan I hate progress!...". Screw that noise! You know what I worry about on a daily basis? The survival of the human species! What with nukes, and super viruses, and asteroids, and pulsars, and the super volcano that is practically under my god damn feet!, yeah! I worry a bit! If the human race banded together into a human cyborg killing machine amalgam that set out to dominate the universe, yeah! I'd be down with that! Way down! Like, Argentina down! No, Antarctica down. (That's are far as you can get down, unless you're Rick James. Then the funk scale takes over.) The point is that we, as a race, as a people, as a god damn species! would survive! And that's what all this procreation and civilization and nations and what have you is all about! God! Bring on the upgrades, science! Make me unto a god! Like Iccarus, I wish to climb to the highest heights and spit into the very eye of god himself. Of course, my wax wings will be computer viruses, and my fall will be the inability to buy the newest upgrades. Oh well. Such... is life.